


Not Too Bad

by hmweasley



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Babysitting, Background Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, F/F, Married Helen Blackthorn/Aline Penhallow, Married Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Shadowhunter Bingo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 12:20:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29791818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hmweasley/pseuds/hmweasley
Summary: Aline and Helen have begun discussing having kids, but Aline is worried that she doesn't have what it takes to be a good parent. After a heart-to-heart with Alec, Aline finds herself babysitting baby Max in what Alec and Helen hope will be a self-esteem boost. But things don't go as planned.
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Aline Penhallow, Helen Blackthorn & Max Lightwood-Bane, Helen Blackthorn/Aline Penhallow, Max Lightwood-Bane & Aline Penhallow
Kudos: 18





	Not Too Bad

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt:  
> Shadowhunter Bingo - babysitting

“Aline?”

Alec’s questioning finally caught her attention, and Aline sat up straight, dropping her hand that she’d been resting her chin on as she stared at the fire on the other side of her office. Her cheeks warmed as she tilted her head up to look at Alec standing opposite where she sat at the desk, just to the side of the same fire. She prided herself on her abilities as a Shadowhunter, yet she hadn’t heard him approach or the knock on the door that she assumed he’d given her before walking in.

“Sorry,” she said with a self-conscious smile. “I’m a little distracted today.”

“I can see that,” Alec said, lowering himself into one of the chairs in front of her desk. He watched her for a moment before he continued. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No, no,” Aline said, waving her hand dismissively through the air. “It’s nothing that anyone should be worried about. I’d much rather discuss why you’re here. I assume there’s something you need to tell me?”

Alec’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t press her any further.

“Uh, yeah,” he said. “I was talking to Lindquist. A vampire clan in their jurisdiction wants to speak to the Clave, so I was hoping to talk to your mom about scheduling a meeting. Only she wasn’t in her office, so I came to see if you could pass the message on.”

Aline gave him a smile, much more at ease with the topic safely on work instead of anything personal. Alec may have been her friend, but she’d been having trouble discussing her feelings with Helen recently, let alone anyone else. Still, she felt dangerously close to blurting out her feelings to anyone who asked.

“Of course,” she said. “Last I heard, Mom had a meeting with Tessa Gray from the Spiral Labyrinth this morning, but I think she’ll be finished soon. We had plans to meet for lunch. I can pass on your message then.”

“Sounds good,” Alec said. “I was just about to head out to lunch myself, so I was hoping to let her know before I left. Better we don’t leave the Lindquists waiting too long. They’re not a big fan of your mother. Don’t want to give them more reasons to dislike her.”

Aline cringed. Now that Alec mentioned it, she remembered the spat her mother and the Lindquists had gotten into several years earlier. She couldn’t even remember what the fight had been about, but dealing with them had been touchy with her mother ever since.

“I’ll definitely let her know,” she said with a decisive nod.

With their business complete, she’d expected Alec to excuse himself, but he remained sitting in the chair across from her desk, watching Aline as if he were trying to sort something out. She stiffened, already sure of what was coming and dreading it.

“You sure you don’t want to talk about whatever had you lost in your own head when I came in?” he asked hesitantly.

They’d known each other for years, but Alec had always been more closed off with Aline than Isabelle or Jace. It was only in the past few years that she felt she’d really gotten to know the real him and not a closed off version that he’d carefully crafted to hide himself. She was pretty sure that he could say the same about her, even if she liked to think her facade had appeared more genine than his.

She sighed, feeling her resistance crumbling from no other power than his gaze.

“Helen and I have been talking about adoption,” she admitted. “It’s not new. We both said we wanted to have kids when we first got together, but now we’re really talking about it.”

“Like the ‘it may happen soon’ kind of talking about it?” Alec asked, leaning forward in his chair.

His eyes sparkled with excitement at the idea, and Aline couldn’t hold back a snort of laughter at his eagerness for someone else to have kids. She never would have pegged Alec as a kid person before baby Max had come along, yet his son had made him more baby crazy than anyone she knew. Not even her wife with her million siblings who she’d practically raised could compare.

“I think so,” Aline said quietly, her gaze on the fire. “It would make sense. We’re married now. We’re settled, and we’ve always said that we would. Now’s the time.”

Alec’s excited smile dropped into something threatening to become a frown.

“Are you sure about it?” he asked. “Because if you don’t actually want kids, you shouldn’t—”

“I do,” Aline rushed to assure him.

With anyone else, she would have been offended that they’d offered unsolicited advice as if she hadn’t carefully considered everything for herself, but she didn’t feel that way towards Alec. She just felt tired after the long morning she’d had obsessing over the same nagging thoughts that had been coming and going for months.

“I want kids,” she added even more forcefully. “That’s something I’m sure of, and I wouldn’t have promised Helen otherwise if I wasn’t. It’s just that…” She fiddled with her pen the click clack of her opening and closing it echoing through the room. “I’m an only child,” she continued. “Helen has lots of younger brothers and sisters. She’s been around kids her whole life, and she’s so good at taking care of them. Any time that something happens, she knows exactly what to do. It’s like she doesn’t need to think about it.”

Aline clicked the pen closed and threw it down on the desk before sinking back into her chair. Alec was silent as he watched her, a thoughtful frown creasing his brow.

“I don’t have instincts like that,” Aline admitted, staring into the fire. “I’m an only child. The closest I’ve come to taking care of kids is helping out with Helen’s siblings sometimes, but there’s always someone else around too. And they were all older when I met them anyway. It was nothing like taking care of an actual baby, you know? I don’t know how to do that.”

She fell quiet, her cheeks were warm, but she couldn’t tell if it was from embarrassment or the heat from the fire. She tapped her fingers against the armrest of her chair, waiting for Alec to say something to end the judgement she felt.

“Lots of people don’t know much about kids when they have their own,” he said slowly, turning over each word carefully before he said them. I was eleven when my youngest brother was born, and I had to help out some, but that was nothing compared to having my own kid. And lots of only children have kids. Either way, you have to figure out everything as you go. It’s difficult sometimes, but I know you and Helen would be up for it. You’d care too much to do a bad job.”

Aline offered him as genuine of a smile as she could muster.

“Thank you. I wish I could believe that as much as you claim to.”

Alec shook his head in amusement.

“Well, if practice would make you feel better, Magnus and I are always up for a date night. You and Helen can watch Max any time. Just let us now.”

The idea sent adrenaline through Aline’s veins. She’d never watched a kid as young as Max before. She wasn’t even sure if she’d held a kid as young as Max except for the times she’d held Max himself. As a result, she’d always been more nervous around the baby than she wanted to admit.

“Do you mean that?” she asked. “You’d trust us with him?”

“Why wouldn’t we?” Alec asked with a laugh. “Like you said, Helen has a ton of experience. Between the two of you, I can’t imagine anything bad would happen.”

It wasn’t a bad idea. Aline knew Max better than she’d ever known a baby, and she knew he was fairly well behaved. A bit mischievous at times as was probably required by the son of Magnus Bane, but it was nothing too bad. If she couldn’t handle him, then it would be a real sign that she needed more experience under her belt before she and Helen took the next step.

“I should talk to Helen first,” she said. “But thanks for the offer. It’s not a bad idea.”

“Of course,” Alec said, standing from his chair. “Like I said, just let us know if you want us to bring him around. We can make plans.”

She gave him one last smile as they said goodbye. Already, nerves were building in Aline’s stomach. Asking Helen about this meant admitting that she needed practice, and that on top of actually taking care of Max made her more nervous than it should have.

* * *

Aline plastered her best smile on her face as she tugged open the door to reveal the Lightwood-Bane family on the other side.

“Look who it is!” Alec crowed to the baby warlock in his arms.

Max babbled with excitement, smiling widely at Helen and Aline. He flapped his arms happily, one of them waking Alec against the chest repeatedly, not that he seemed to mind at all. Looking at him, you would have thought that he didn’t even feel a thing. Maybe he didn’t. Max’s fists were so small that Aline couldn’t imagine they made much of an impact, especially when you were used to much worse injuries. She swallowed, suddenly even more aware of the fact that this tiny person was going to be her and Helen’s responsibility.

“Hello,” Helen said, taking over the greetings as Aline struggled just to keep the smile on her face. “Look at you,” she said to Max in her best baby voice, which Aline would have found adorable if she weren’t petrified.

Her eyes grew wide as Alec slid Max into Helen’s arms. It was actually happening. They really would be left alone with him for the evening. Aline’s heart began to race faster than when she was face-to-face with a Shax demon.

Magnus handed Max’s bag out to her with a smile, and she took it without fully processing what was happening. It was black with blueberries embroidered into the fabric. She stared down at it as if she didn’t know what it was. It was heavy as she slugged it over her shoulder. She could only begin to imagine what was inside: diapers, bottles, toys. She wondered if she’d even recognize everything inside when she looked.

“Everything you need should be in there,” Magnus said, still smiling as if he didn’t notice Aline’s unease. But she knew he must have. “We packed twice the amount of diapers that we think he’ll need, so I really doubt you’ll run out of anything.”

“But if you do, just call us,” Alec finished. “Even if it’s just a question about something.”

“Of course,” Helen answered for the both of us. “I really don’t think there will be a problem, but if there is, we’ll let you know right away.”

A few more assurances were exchanged before Magnus and Alec were back out the door, Helen waving Max’s little hand at them as they left. The baby was still babbling in her arms, not concerned that his fathers had left him behind. He was a mild mannered baby all things considered. Aline tried to let that comfort her as she remained rooted in the same spot with Max’s diaper bag over her shoulder. It had been a struggle to even get a ‘goodbye’ out to Magnus and Alec when they left.

Helen gripped her shoulder.

“Aline, calm down. He’s not even remotely upset yet.”

“Yet,” Aline repeated dryly.

Helen rolled her eyes, but she was smiling as she carried Max down the hall and into the living room. Aline followed her with the bag and sat it on the coffee table. She unzipped it to find a plethora of baby supplies, and she breathed easier with the knowledge that she recognized just about everything in the bag. She pulled out a toy and held it out to Max, who took it with a cheerful cry and stuffed it into his mouth.

“Get that blanket and spread it on the floor,” Helen said. “We can set him down and let him play for now.”

Aline did as instructed, even placing down the other toys his dads had brought along, and watched as Helen sat the baby down. She half-expected Max to start crying the second he was out of someone’s arms, but he didn’t seem to mind. Helen knelt beside him, and he played with his toys happily, almost as if he’d entered his own little world with them.

Tension left Aline’s body, and she sunk onto the couch.

“Don’t relax too much,” Helen said, throwing a smirk over her shoulder. “We’re only five minutes into the evening. He will cry, Aline. The goal is to keep a level head when he does.”

Aline sighed. “I know that, but I already told you that I can’t promise anything.”

Helen laughed. “And I told you that, if you can fight demons, then you can handle a baby for a few hours. Remember, it’s okay if you don’t know why he’s crying the second he starts crying. We’ll figure out what’s up together, okay?”

Aline nodded. She sure hoped she could manage that.

* * *

Max babbled excitedly as Aline zoomed the spoon towards his mouth like one of those mundane airplanes. Helen had warned her that he may not accept the food easily. Apparently, Tavvy had refused to eat mashed carrots when he was Max’s age, but Max accepted them with no problem, smiling happily as he chowed down and smeared the bright orange mush all over his face.

For the first five or so spoonfuls, Aline had felt proud. Max was hardly even making a mess, and she was confident they’d make it through the whole meal without any major mishaps.

The feeling of success was premature. A few minutes in, Max started trying to grab the spoon from her hand. Aline’s reflexes were quick. She swiped the spoon away before he could get hold of it, but the whine he let out at the rebuff set off alarm bells in Aline’s mind. She knew it was a bad sign.

Sure enough, the next time she raised the spoon to Max’s lips, he tried to get the spoon again, but this time, he knew better than to just reach with his hands. Blue spars erupted from his hands, and Aline felt a supernatural tug on the spoon. She tightened her grip, determined not to let go, but Max kept tugging. Alec had to have a method for dealing with moments like these, but Aline had no idea what that method was. In the magical tug-of-war, the mashed carrots went flying and landed on the other side of the kitchen floor with a splat. Max laughed in delight and clapped his hands, no longer trying to grab the spoon that was still in Aline’s hand.

Helen chose that moment to enter from the other room, where she’d been picking up the toys Max had been playing with earlier.

“Oh,” she said, looking down at the splatter of carrot with a smirk. “Is someone having too much fun with his dinner?”

Aline rolled her eyes and grumbled. She knew that babies made messes, yet she couldn’t help but be a little annoyed to have her perceived success yanked away from her. Still, when the babbling Max looked at her happily, she managed a smile. She pushed the spoon back towards his mouth, and he accepted it easily, apparently content to eat this particular spoonful instead of making a mess.

Sensing Aline’s annoyance, Helen came up behind her and squeezed her shoulders.

“If that’s the only mess he’s made so far, then you’re doing a good job,” she said encouragingly.

Aline nodded but didn’t verbally respond as she tried to get Max to take another bite. Once again, he was more interested in grabbing the spoon than eating. Feeling self-conscious in Helen’s presence, Aline didn’t react quickly enough, and another splatter of carrot went flying in the opposite direction of the last one. Aline sighed as Max laughed. Helen gave her shoulders another squeeze, massaging them for a moment.

“I’ll clean it up,” she said, doing just that as Aline continued feeding Max.

It was silent as they both completed their jobs, Helen humming to herself while Aline did her best to stay calm. She wasn’t mad at Max; she was frustrated with herself. Surely, there was a secret to getting more food in his mouth than on the floor that she wasn’t aware of. Perhaps Magnus was able to deter Max from his mischief with magic, but Alec must have had a different strategy. Helen probably knew it too. Whatever it was, Aline couldn’t figure it out.

By the end of the meal, Aline wasn’t sure how much of the food Max had eaten instead of played with, but Helen swore it was enough. She took the baby, who was still babbling happily, to wash the slowly trying food off his face and hands. Aline leaned back in the chair, searching for the energy needed to clean up the high chair. 

She couldn’t believe how much energy one dinner had taken out of her when she hunted demons every night. It shouldn’t have been possible. She ran a hand over her brow, more sure than ever that she wasn’t cut out for kids no matter how much she wanted them.

Helen found her in that position a few minutes later with a much cleaner Max in her arms. She sat down in the chair next to Aline and reached out to take her hand. Aline continued to stare at the mess on the high chair.

“Don’t be hard on yourself,” Helen said. “It was your first dinner. You didn’t do a bad job, Aline.”

“How do I feel so tired?” Aline asked instead of responding to what Helen had actually said. “It shouldn’t be possible.”

Helen shrugged. “Like I said, it was your first time. Babies are a lot of work. That doesn’t mean you were bad, Aline. It just means you’re new at it. Even parents need a break sometimes.”

Aline didn’t respond. She wanted to believe Helen. She was even sure that Helen was convinced of what she was saying, but she just couldn’t believe it herself. Surely some kind of maternal instincts should have kicked in, but they hadn’t. There was something about taking care of kids that just didn’t click with her; she was sure of it.

She rose to grab a dish rag and wet it in the sink, setting to work cleaning the high chair without looking at Helen. Max was being much quieter than he had been during the meal, watching Aline work from Helen’s arms. Aline tried not to look at him too much as she worked.

* * *

Aline let Helen take the lead when it came to putting Max to bed. She hovered, prepared to step in and assist whenever needed, but she didn’t trust herself nearly well enough to do any of the most important tasks.

Max had sniffled a little once he realized he was being put down in the bassinet that had once been Tavvy’s, but Helen had quieted him with an ease that had left Aline in awe. By the time they were back in the living room, snuggling on the couch, Aline felt as if she were in a daze. The struggle she’d been expecting to happen before bedtime hadn’t come, but that didn’t make her feel at ease.

“You’re amazing,” she told Helen, letting her head fall to her wife’s shoulder. “I wish I could have helped more. I feel so useless.”

“Stop that,” Helen scolded, moving her shoulder to jostle Aline. “You fed him dinner, did you not? And you were a help putting him to bed even if you think you weren’t. Trust me. If that’s you being useless, then I know some actual parents who could learn a thing or two.”

Aline sighed, not believing Helen in the slightest. Anyone would have seen that Helen had done far more work than she had.

Just as she was about to respond, a high pitched squeal echoed through the house. It wasn’t one of terror, but it was loud enough that Helen and Aline both shot to their feet. Aline took off for the bedroom that they’d tucked Max away in before she could think about what she was doing. She reached the room before Helen, and her heart lurched into her throat when she saw that the bassinet was empty.

She whipped her head back and forth but didn’t spot him until Helen gasped, “Look up!”

Max’s back was pressed to the ceiling as if he’d been plastered to it. He laughed happily when they spotted him, clapping his hands together without a care in the world. If he realized he was hovering above the room, it didn’t bother him. Aline’s stomach dropped as she rushed forward to stand beneath him. At that moment, she may not have known how to get him down, but she wasn’t going to let him plummet to the floor.

“What do we do!?” Helen shouted, panicked for the first time since Max had arrived. “Neither of us can use magic, and he probably doesn’t know how to get himself down. Even if he did, he can’t understand what we tell him to do, and he could accidentally send himself in a freefall.”

Aline looked away from the baby long enough to zero in on the dresser that sat against the wall. It was a little far from the bassinet that Max was still floating over. If she stood on top, she wouldn’t be able to reach the baby.

“Come here and stand underneath him,” Aline said, using the same voice that she used when leading a team. “If he falls, you’ll have to catch him.”

Helen did as she asked, her arms out with a purpose despite no sign that Max was budging.

“What are you doing?” she asked Aline as she the other woman approached the dresser.

“Getting Max,” Aline said shortly as she took hold of one end of the dresser and tugged.

It wasn’t as easy as it would have been with someone at the other end helping her, but she could at least maneuver half the dresser closer to the bassinet. She climbed on top of it and found that the tips of her fingers could just about brush the ceiling. Max babbled happily when he saw that she was closer to him. His back was still pressed against the ceiling, and he didn’t show any signs of moving, but she knew better than to rely on that.

Helen still hovered beneath him, not moving an inch. The dresser was still a bit too far away for Aline to snatch Max out of the air easily. She moved carefully to the edge, her feet partially dangling off the side. It would be hard to reach for Max and also keep her balance. There was a chance that Helen would be catching _her_ instead of the baby, but she’d have to risk it.

She reached for Max, and in what could only be a twist of fate, Max reached eagerly for her in response. He moved, and for a second, her heart dropped with the fear that he was about to fall. Instead, he reached his tiny blue fist out, and it was enough for Aline to grab onto him.

She tugged. It was rougher than she would have dared be with him in any other circumstance, but she didn’t know what other choice she had. As soon as he was close enough, she clutched him to her chest with one arm and used the other to stay balanced as she wobbled from side-to-side. Helen latched onto her legs, doing what she could to keep Aline standing. After a tense second, they both realized that Aline and the baby were stable, and Helen laughed, hitting Aline’s foot in her excitement.

Aline allowed herself a smile as she crouched down and handed the baby to Helen before climbing off the dresser herself. The rush of adrenaline that had pushed her to act fled, and she collapsed back against the dresser for support as her head spun. She watched in bafflement as Max stared between the two of them with wide eyes, not showing much of a reaction to what he’d just put them through.

Helen surged forward and captured Aline’s lips in a kiss. Aline gasped, her mind struggling to process what had happened, let alone a kiss.

“That was incredible!” Helen exclaimed loudly. “I was so worried that we wouldn’t be able to get him down, but you climbed onto that dresser like you’d already prepared for him to fly into the air like that. Amazing!”

Aline shrugged. It didn’t feel as impressive to her as it was to Helen. She’d only done the first thing she could think of when she’d seen Max hovering above them. It easily could have been Helen who’d thought of it first.

“You could’ve done it,” she said in a weak voice.

Helen raised an eyebrow. Max let out a squeal in her arms, and Helen rocked him back and forth, starting the process of getting him back to sleep.

“But I didn’t,” she said in a voice that was barely more than a whisper. “All I did was panic at the door. I might still be there if you hadn’t acted.”

Aline knew that wasn’t true. Helen would have gotten herself together eventually, and if Max had fallen, there was no way Helen would have stood there and done nothing. But she was right in a sense. Aline had been the first to think of a way to get him down, and she’d followed through on that plan without thinking. She bit her lip to hold back her smile, but it was useless. Helen smiled at her, and Aline couldn’t disguise it any longer.

“See,” Helen said, tilting her head to the side. “You wouldn’t be as bad at parenting as you think.”

* * *

Max may have been one of the most adorable babies she’d ever met, but Aline breathed a sigh of relief when Alec and Magnus knocked on the front door not even an hour after the ceiling incident.

Helen led Magnus straight to the room where Max was sleeping. There hadn’t been any more magical incidents since the first. Aline hovered in the hallway with Alec, internally debating how many of the night’s events she should share with him. She didn’t want to keep anything a secret, but she also wasn’t sure how to broach the most dramatic of the night’s events.

“Did everything go well?” Alec asked with a slightly nervous smile as if he was expecting to hear the worse.

Aline wanted to ask him where those nerves had been when he was assuring her that everything would be fine, but she didn’t.

“He’s healthy, I think,” she said slowly. “But there was an...incident after we put him to bed.”

Alec groaned, his whole body crumpling.

“Please tell me he didn’t levitate himself again.”

“Again!?” Aline snapped, crossing her arms against her chest. “You’re telling me that he’s done that before, and you didn’t warn us?”

Alec scrunched his shoulders up towards his ears and gave her a sheepish smile.

“It must have slipped our minds. It’s not like he does it every night. It’s only been a few times, and last time it happened was a few months ago. I genuinely didn’t think about it.”

Aline sighed, the tension she’d felt over revealing the truth leaving her.

“Yeah, well, he’s fine, so I guess it’s all in the past now,” she said.

Alec narrowed his gaze.

“How did you get him down? The other times it’s happened, Magnus has had to use magic.”

So, Aline quickly told him the story of the dresser, earning a laugh and a pat on the back.

“For whatever it’s worth,” he said just as Helen and Magnus appeared at the other end of the hall, “I agree with Helen.”


End file.
